[life, interrupted]

It started a couple weeks ago. I went to church for the first time in a while. Usually I enjoy it somewhat. I never want to go, but I always understand the importance, even if I am not exactly sure of my catholicism.

So I went to church with my dad. My mom wasn't feeling well and had decided not to go. I got my dollar to put in the basket to support the church, Africa, and/or my chances of getting into heaven. We got there early and sat pretty close to the front.

Lucky me; it was Teen Mass. It was not a good start. I don't like Teen Mass because they tend to run longer. And at that point, that was the only reason I didn't like Teen Mass. Oh, but the plot thickens...

Soon enough, many people I go to school with showed up. They got their own special section that said "Reserved". They are the people I would never be friends with in school. Maybe I've had a nice, benign conversation with a couple, but nothing life changing. They are the people that love high school, and that really isn't me. I'm more of a "I'll deal with it until it's over" type of person. Whatever works, I guess.

We also got a priest who I had never seen in my life. I probably only like one priest at our church, so I didn't have high hopes for this one. But he couldn't possibly be worse than the "Creepy smile" priest or "Likes to give hour long homilies" priest, right? Three weeks ago, I was so naive.

The two readings were fine except that the teens that read them were only moderately literate. They only mispronounced a couple of words, but didn't really have any presence. I'll all for giving people a shot (well, sometimes), but I would rather that a professional read me passages from the bible. It's not easy to read. So I'd prefer the guy who memorizes the passages and has a mustache because he's awesome. Also, this guy from my grade severely mispronounced one specific word that I absolutely cannot remember. But it was horrendous, trust me.

So we finally get to the homily. The priest started off my saying "Half of marriages, even Catholic marriages, end in divorce." He was not getting off on the right foot. Catholics are not exempt from mistakes, thankyouverymuch. But according to this priest, Catholics were better than everyone else. In my opinion, just saying that lowers Catholics in the supposed "hierarchy" of religious peoples.

If that was not enough, he continued to give his homily directed only to the Teens. But I was not included in this prestigious group that made up one tenth of the people attending the mass. I didn't sit with the "chosen ones" so I did not get the benefit of being talked to. I understand that these teens had just went on some "life-altering" retreat, but a simple "this applies to you, teens" and going back to talk to everyone else would have sufficed. Instead, he turned his back to the rest of the congregation.

It especially infuriated me because I actually wanted to learn something from the homily that day, but he had already excluded me. Plus, the fact that the people he was speaking to did not care. I don't pretend to know them on a very deep level. So yes, I am generalizing, but they are the type of people who either follow religion blindly or follow their friends blindly. A typical teenager does not think about their faith often. And a typical teenager in my Country Club ridden town definitely does not think about their faith often. I think about my faith and am fairly sure about what I believe in. These teenagers may know a lot about religion, but I highly doubt they know anything about faith.

Homilies have never been anything revolutionary for me. It reinforced things I already believed in. Sometimes, it made me have more faith in the Catholic Church because our beliefs lined up. This time, the priest went on about how this homeless guy who died, and how he thought it was unfair and questioned God. So his solution to his crisis of faith? "God talked to me and told me that these things happen." Well thank you, Father Whatyername. I don't have that luxury, so what am I supposed to do?

I explained my anger to my dad on the way home. He responded, saying "This is why I'm a deist." It made me feel so much better to hear that. I consider myself a "Catholic" because I'm not sure if I want to give up Christianity, and all the other denominations are crazy. My 8th grade CCD teacher told me that even if you don't believe in Jesus, you can still go to heaven. You just have to be a good person, and I think that's the way it should be. Now, he could have just been saying that to reel in someone who was skeptical of everything the church teaches.

The next week, my mom said that we should go to church. I responded by saying that church was a complete waste of time the previous week. She didn't try to sway me.

This mass put me in a bad mood for the rest of the week. It wasn't a complete waste of time because I realized some things, but it certainly didn't make life any easier. I've been defending Catholicism for so long and will probably continue, but I know now I cannot ever defend Catholics.